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Haystack Hires Field Reporter



In our first major edition to our staff since we hired Adam Falk as our political correctness consultant, the Haystack has added Raggedy Joe to the payroll as a full time field reporter. Joe will be an invaluable addition to our team spending all of his time in the field, getting to know the real Williams. We expect him to bring us fantastic insights such as the progress of this year’s harvest and what those local kid hooligans are up to in those corn patches.


The Haystack has long been criticized for not reporting what the real people think, so we hope this hire shows our dedication to covering every single fence post on the farm. Some in the crow community have rebuked this hiring claiming that Joe is “too stiff” and “doesn’t have our best interests at heart.” To this we say “fuck off you dumb stupid crows get out of our soy bean fields!”


Joe has shown an exemplary ability to connect with people from all walks of life with his fun and interchangeable straw hats and wide range of plaid shirts. We are confident Raggedy Joe will serve the Haystack for years to come or at least until the next big storm. Welcome to the team Joe!

Editors-in-Chief

Lucy Walker     Noah Cohen-Greenberg     Sam Mermin