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"Day Drinking," "Fuck Crafts," and Other Rejected Free University Courses



Fuck Crafts

Instructor:

Amelia Donk

Instructor contact:

abd2@williams.edu

Sign-up Information:

https://forms.gle/KhdE5qXzeZ9aNsAB9

Course description:


What do friendship bracelets, resin earrings, and knitted blankets have in common? Making them is a fucking drag. In this exclusive course, you’ll learn the ins and outs of not doing any crafts. Each meeting, we’ll talk about what we think is the dumbest craft, our strategies for not doing them, and how we made better use of our time. We’ll get lots of practice in not learning a new productive skill, and bitching about people who think they’re so great just because they didn’t get tangled up in the big ball of yarn when they tried to make that scarf that one time.



Intro to Day Drinking

Instructor:

John Cableman

Instructor contact:

jac4@williams.edu

Sign-up Information:

https://forms.gle/KhJE5qXzeZ9wcsAB9

Course description:


i dunno just do your work and get drunk. who the fuck made you the class police anyway. i dont need you.class meets whenever



The Ethics of Hitting Your Nemesis With Your Car

Instructor:

Lionel Crispy

Instructor contact:

ltc3@williams.edu

Sign-up Information:

https://forms.gle/KhJE5afzeZ9aNsAB9

Course description:


As we move forward into an unprecedented future, we face a host of complex new moral dilemmas, and a short list of old but really important ones. How can we––as responsible citizens and rational thinkers––reconcile the apparent physical damage caused by a car accident with the sight of that fucking douchebag standing right in front of our car? How fast is the car going? How much did this person wrong you? Has a crowd gathered around the two of you chanting “Do it! Do it!”? Is this person a real scoundrel? Join us twice weekly to discuss the ins and outs of revenge by vehicle.



Canadian Cuisine

Instructor:

Marcy Flowers

Instructor contact:

msf10@williams.edu

Sign-up Information:

https://forms.gle/KhJE5aXzeZ9wcsAB9

Course description:


The Williams student body is disgustingly ignorant of Canada’s rich culture and cuisine. Lectures will include lessons on how to make such dishes as poutine and salted poutine, and will take place on horseback. Students will also gain an in-depth understanding of the Canadian dialect as it pertains to food. For instance, did you know we say “taco chip” instead of “tortilla chip?” We also call napkins “serviettes!”



Bullet Journaling for the Landed Aristocracy

Instructor:

Liliana Goob

Instructor contact:

lfg6@williams.edu

Sign-up Information:

https://forms.gle/Khfd5aXzeZ9wcsAB9

Course description:


Are you fed up that the peasantry got their own bullet journaling course for Free University (e.g. Bullet Journaling for the Broke)? Do you rule your own mid-sized fiefdom in medieval Europe? Then this course is for you! Running a feudal lordship can be tough and it takes a lot of organization. Thanks to the inventor of the Bullet Journal method, you can now more easily keep track of the day-to-day goings-on in your domain. Once you complete this course, you can keep your guardsmen, serfs, crops, and witches in order and survive this recent bout of the plague.



The Queen’s Gambit: Doing Tranquilizers

Instructor:

Shelly Habner

Instructor contact:

sah3@williams.edu

Sign-up Information:

https://forms.gle/KhJE5aXzeZ9wcsAB9

Course description:


The Queen’s Gambit made tranquilizers look pretty fun, right? Well, we’re gonna do ‘em! Email for more details. Space limited.



Making “Eph” Puns With Little EPHort

Instructor:

Gabe Gondola

Instructor contact:

ggg9@williams.edu

Sign-up Information:

https://forms.gle/KhJasaXzeZ9wcsAB9

Course description:


Are you insufferable and/or want to work for the Williams College administration? Consider taking this course where we teach you how to make “Eph” puns with little EPHort. It’s what Ephraim would have wanted. We will meet EPHry Tuesday at thrEPHorty (3:40) EPH… wait, no, EST. Hahaha, we kid.