The Haystack

Marlene to Dress Up as "A Stern Person" for Halloween

thewilliamshaystack

Nov 1

Marlene to Dress Up as "A Stern Person" for Halloween

Report: SAAC Inexplicably Does Not Plan to Change its Name

thewilliamshaystack

Oct 30

Report: SAAC Inexplicably Does Not Plan to Change its Name

Williams College’s Student Athlete Advisory Committee announced today that it will not be changing its name. The official announcement re...

How Am I Supposed to Pull Over Zoom When Everyone Can See My Unmade Bed

Kevin Ryan

Oct 28

How Am I Supposed to Pull Over Zoom When Everyone Can See My Unmade Bed

With so much of the college experience being relegated to an online space this semester, students are facing new and unprecedented challe...

Unused Thompson Chapel to be converted into Spirit Halloween™

Lucy Walker

Oct 26

Unused Thompson Chapel to be converted into Spirit Halloween™

With the Halloween season approaching and the College strapped for cash because of the recent economic downturn, the administration has b...

Breaking News: I Can't Fucking Do This Anymore

Melia Hagino and Lucy Walker

Oct 26

Breaking News: I Can't Fucking Do This Anymore

The investigation was first opened when it was discovered that I was just straight up leaving Zoom meetings in the middle because I didn’t w

Zig-Zagging Whitman’s Line Will Be Used for Sobriety Tests

Asher Gladstone

Oct 24

Zig-Zagging Whitman’s Line Will Be Used for Sobriety Tests

Starting on Friday, October 23, CSS will begin conducting random sobriety tests on weekends to ensure student safety. With a large portio...

College Supplies Each Individual Student with Alcohol to Ensure Social Distancing

Shenba Vairavan

Oct 23

College Supplies Each Individual Student with Alcohol to Ensure Social Distancing

Williams College, a school filled with students who actually believe money is real and decide to major in it, study exclusively on Sunday...

Prof. Really Believes Online Format is Only Reason Nobody Wants to Chat With Him at Start of Class

Sam Mermin

Oct 22

Prof. Really Believes Online Format is Only Reason Nobody Wants to Chat With Him at Start of Class

"You can unmute yourselves. Wow, it’s so hard doing this on Zoom. Please unmute yourselves"

Missed Connection: Girl Seeking White Guy, Brown Hair

The Haystack

Oct 21

Missed Connection: Girl Seeking White Guy, Brown Hair

You were standing 4 and a half feet in front of me in line for lunch at Driscoll. You were wearing dark wash jeans, dirty-ass sneakers, a...

Bikes are Stupid and You Look Stupid Riding Yours

Mati Rogers

Oct 20

Bikes are Stupid and You Look Stupid Riding Yours

Am I going to lose friends by writing this? Yes. Am I still going to say it with my whole chest? Absolutely. It needs to be said. Unless ...

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