thewilliamshaystackDec 14, 2019Report: Those on Book Grant Qualify For Money Back, Hand StuffReimbursement comes in the form of money, not store credit, and also hand-based sexual acts.
thewilliamshaystackDec 4, 2019Communications Office Will Now Oversee Censorship of The Haystack, █ ██ ███The Office of Communications will now be overseeing censorship of The Haystack. ██.
thewilliamshaystackNov 24, 2019He’s Div III, I’m Div I: Navigating an Inter-Divisional RelationshipI had just declared the English major and was telling everyone that getting an MFA sounded like a viable career path when I saw him.
thewilliamshaystackNov 21, 2019Study Finds Lee’s Open All 23 Hours of the Day You Don’t Want to Go There The Snackbar is open at all times to all students, with the exception of you during the times that you want to go.
thewilliamshaystackNov 18, 2019Not So Wicked: Three Dead After Tom Brady ArgumentAn argument concerning whether or not the Patriots “eat shit for breakfast,” spiraled out of control and left three students dead.
thewilliamshaystackNov 15, 2019Wise Sophomore Boy Who Took Math 150 Generously Shares Wisdom With First-Year GirlsAccording to eyewitnesses, Bonnell squared his shoulders, took a deep breath, and bravely inserted himself into the conversation.
thewilliamshaystackNov 12, 2019Didn't Go to the Career Fair? Have Fun Being PoorOur reporters determined that those of you who skipped this epic networking event are destined for a future of being poor as fuck.
thewilliamshaystackNov 8, 2019Ask The Haystack: My JA Is Into Me and I Don't Know What to DoDear Haystack, My JA wants me, and I don’t know what to do.