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Parents Assumed You’d Never Actually Take Them Up on That Whole “Come Home Any Time” Thing
thewilliamshaystack
  • Mar 21, 2020

Parents Assumed You’d Never Actually Take Them Up on That Whole “Come Home Any Time” Thing

“Fuck,” said Karen Polowski, ‘P21. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.” After two days of distracting herself with heartwarming family sentiments,...
Haystack Food Review: Taco Tuesday Solved Racism
thewilliamshaystack
  • Mar 10, 2020

Haystack Food Review: Taco Tuesday Solved Racism

4.9/5 The Haystack is pleased to announce that we will be beginning our highly-anticipated and much-discussed food review series. To kick...
“So what classes are you taking?” Asks You, Panicking
thewilliamshaystack
  • Mar 9, 2020

“So what classes are you taking?” Asks You, Panicking

An investigative report from The Haystack has found that one student on this campus is totally incapable of positive, non-awkward social...
The Haystack Finalizing Deal to Purchase The Record
thewilliamshaystack
  • Mar 5, 2020

The Haystack Finalizing Deal to Purchase The Record

It is with great excitement that we announce today that The Haystack is nearing a deal to purchase The Williams Record. As long standing...
Haystack Hires Field Reporter
thewilliamshaystack
  • Mar 1, 2020

Haystack Hires Field Reporter

In our first major edition to our staff since we hired Adam Falk as our political correctness consultant, the Haystack has added Raggedy...
WEPO Application Just Fight to the Death
thewilliamshaystack
  • Feb 28, 2020

WEPO Application Just Fight to the Death

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20th, HOPKINS HALL -- “Fucking bite his ear off!” shouted an ebullient Dean Dave Johnson as two of the week’s most...
Last Resort for 2021 Housing Emergency: Extra Bedrooms in Douglas Schiazza’s House
thewilliamshaystack
  • Feb 27, 2020

Last Resort for 2021 Housing Emergency: Extra Bedrooms in Douglas Schiazza’s House

Due to the increasing danger of traveling abroad and the completely unforeseen possibility of a three month period during which all the...
BREAKING: Haystack has Uncovered Secret “Eating Without Swiping” Ring in Mission Park
thewilliamshaystack
  • Feb 24, 2020

BREAKING: Haystack has Uncovered Secret “Eating Without Swiping” Ring in Mission Park

On last Friday, February 21st, The Haystack made its most damning discovery yet. And that’s saying a lot.
7 Bugs We Would Fuck Before Fucking Joseph Gordon-Levitt
The Needle
  • Feb 21, 2020

7 Bugs We Would Fuck Before Fucking Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Brave: This Girl Applied to be A WOOLF Leader Despite Having No Stickers on Her Nalgene Water Bottle
The Needle
  • Feb 21, 2020

Brave: This Girl Applied to be A WOOLF Leader Despite Having No Stickers on Her Nalgene Water Bottle

We here at The Needle love to feature strong, independent women who break barriers. Alexandra Davis ‘23, fits the bill perfectly. After...
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Editorial Board

Noah Cohen-Greenberg     Sam Mermin     Lucy Walker

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Writing Staff

Asher Gladstone     Melia Hagino     Lizzie High     Mati Rogers     Kevin Ryan

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Social Media

Sara Stebbins     Shenba Vairavan     Darlie Kerns