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Rich Friend's Mom Describes 300-Dollar Dining Experience At Williams Inn As "Charming"
Sam Mermin
  • Apr 23

Rich Friend's Mom Describes 300-Dollar Dining Experience At Williams Inn As "Charming"

On Friday night, you received the great honor of being invited to dinner with your friend, Connor Goldspoon ‘23, and his parents, who...
Students Petition To Make Turkey Vultures 30% Smaller, Citing “Too Big”
Lucy Walker
  • Apr 16

Students Petition To Make Turkey Vultures 30% Smaller, Citing “Too Big”

Last Thursday, students across campus banded together to address what they saw as the College’s biggest and most pressing issue: turkey...
Stoner Kid In Your Philosophy Class Posits All Of Us Are Wearing Masks All The Time, Actually
Sam Mermin
  • Mar 8

Stoner Kid In Your Philosophy Class Posits All Of Us Are Wearing Masks All The Time, Actually

Today’s meeting of PHIL 491: Who The Fuck Do You Think You Are had to be ended 45 minutes early after some deeply insightful,...
Report: The College Finds Kid Who Took My Coat At 66 Guilty Of Heinous Crimes
Kevin Ryan
  • Mar 7

Report: The College Finds Kid Who Took My Coat At 66 Guilty Of Heinous Crimes

In a recent announcement in the town square, Sheriff Maud proclaimed that the student who had so villainously snatched my jacket from the...
Group Of Friends Sneaks Up To Observatory Deck, Reports Feeling Rebellious, 10 Feet Off The Ground
Lizzie High and Lucy Walker
  • Mar 6

Group Of Friends Sneaks Up To Observatory Deck, Reports Feeling Rebellious, 10 Feet Off The Ground

On Friday, February 25th, at 10:46pm, the Haystack received reports of three friends seen on the balcony of the Hopkins Observatory in...
Housing Crisis: Friend Group Opts For Mouse Named Stuart Little Over You As Their Sixth Housing Pick
Sophie Bellwoar
  • Feb 28

Housing Crisis: Friend Group Opts For Mouse Named Stuart Little Over You As Their Sixth Housing Pick

Well how do ya feel now? Can’t feel great, I bet. Yea, they chose a rat over you. And word has it they’re picking into East, which...
Report: Driscoll To Start Serving Beer Because It’s The Grown-Up Dining Hall
Lizzie High
  • Feb 26

Report: Driscoll To Start Serving Beer Because It’s The Grown-Up Dining Hall

Recently, Williams students have been pushing for the restoration of pre-covid campus culture. With public health and the college’s...
Tutorial Partner Thinks He's a Knight From Middle Ages and Won’t Stop Trying to Best Me In A Duel
Melia Hagino
  • Feb 26

Tutorial Partner Thinks He's a Knight From Middle Ages and Won’t Stop Trying to Best Me In A Duel

Dear the Haystack, We all know that tutorial meetings are basically wars; one partner emerges Victorious, and the other, a stupid loser....
The Haystack Investigates: 90% Of “Composted” Waste Actually Just Fed To Really Big Bear
Noah Cohen-Greenberg
  • Feb 24

The Haystack Investigates: 90% Of “Composted” Waste Actually Just Fed To Really Big Bear

Earlier this week, The Haystack investigated a bombshell report that the vast majority of the College’s food waste wasn’t actually being...
Oldest Book In Chapin Archives Torn To Shreds By Student Who Regrets Their Actions, Is Not Me
Lizzie High
  • Feb 24

Oldest Book In Chapin Archives Torn To Shreds By Student Who Regrets Their Actions, Is Not Me

The Chapin Archives are mourning the great loss of the Oldest Book, which was ravenously torn up yesterday afternoon. The student...
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Editorial Board

Noah Cohen-Greenberg     Sam Mermin     Lucy Walker

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Writing Staff

Asher Gladstone     Melia Hagino     Lizzie High     Mati Rogers     Kevin Ryan

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Social Media

Sara Stebbins     Shenba Vairavan     Darlie Kerns