The Williams Haystack

a day ago

Report: I am the Most Fuckable Person in this Resky Brunch Line

After careful consideration, I have determined that by every metric both physical and immaterial I am the hottest motherfucker in a 4...

Op-ed: I still don’t know whether my class has a course packet

thewilliamshaystack

4 days ago

Op-ed: I still don’t know whether my class has a course packet

There are many assignments in an average Williams class. Some are essays. Some are mad minute math worksheets. Some are even where you go...

I’m a Campus Conservative, I Found a Tampon Wrapper in our Bathroom, and I’m Gonna Fucking Call CSS

thewilliamshaystack

7 days ago

I’m a Campus Conservative, I Found a Tampon Wrapper in our Bathroom, and I’m Gonna Fucking Call CSS

Hey guys. It’s me. Greg. The campus conservative. I wrote a bunch of emails to the Haystack that just said “please,” or “let me speak”...

Vice Principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off Named New Director of CSS

Melia Hagino

Mar 31

Vice Principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off Named New Director of CSS

Following the news of Campus Safety and Security Director Dave Boyer’s upcoming retirement, college administration were tasked with...

JA You Suspect Might Be a Beaver a Little Too Ok With Your Suggestion of Woodchips For Sunday Snacks

Kevin Ryan

Mar 29

JA You Suspect Might Be a Beaver a Little Too Ok With Your Suggestion of Woodchips For Sunday Snacks

“So uhhh, what about woodchips?” your eyes dart around the room as you pose the question, but there’s really only one response you care...

Fourth Prong of Mandel’s Public Health Model is “Suspense and Deception”

Sam Mermin

Mar 26

Fourth Prong of Mandel’s Public Health Model is “Suspense and Deception”

Yesterday The Haystack sat down with President Maud Mandel to discuss the College’s COVID containment strategy in the wake of several...

Op-Ed: The Testing Site Has No Respect for Boogery Boys Like Me

Asher Gladstone

Mar 22

Op-Ed: The Testing Site Has No Respect for Boogery Boys Like Me

Yes, you heard that right. I’m a bloody snot monster. Despite the discrimination I have faced my whole life, recently I have become proud...

Op-Ed: They Put Sandwich Bread in Paresky and Now I'm on a Bender

Lizzie High

Mar 10

Op-Ed: They Put Sandwich Bread in Paresky and Now I'm on a Bender

Picture it: your sophomore year of high school, you just got out of track practice, you’re starving. What is there to eat? Something...

The Witch Who Owns the Williamstown Apothecary Turned Me into a Frog, and Now You Have to Kiss Me

Melia Hagino and Lucy Walker

Mar 5

The Witch Who Owns the Williamstown Apothecary Turned Me into a Frog, and Now You Have to Kiss Me

Dear Williams College Community, My name is Steven, and I need your help. Until last week, I lived in relative obscurity on this campus....

I Lived It: My Girlfriend Took a Feminist Poetry Class and Won’t Do My Laundry Anymore

Shenba Vairavan

Mar 2

I Lived It: My Girlfriend Took a Feminist Poetry Class and Won’t Do My Laundry Anymore

By Lak Ross Hey. Super duper stoked to be writing about, like, a serious problem that I think we should be talking about as a community....

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